Funthusia

After the really unsuccessful Part 1, here’s presenting the Part 2 of the poorest reality show on the Planet. I mean literally poor. Not Qualitatively.

To begin with, the Rock Kaun Auditions was a low budget affair. The contestants were served contaminated water. As a result, many contestants fainted and the turnout became really low. Only 5 of the contestants survived. The sick ones were rushed to the nearest Baba Ramdev ka Shivir.

Channel Heads said that it was actually a resilience test.

Moving on, Pee TV released the theme song, which has been composed by Pritam. Rumors are on that the song has been copied from a latest Bollywood hit called Rock On!

Anyways, here’s the song:

Asli Rock Kaun Hai?

Tumhe Kya Main Bataau…

Tum Ye Samjhoge Shaayad main paagal huun…

Yeh Bakte Bakte Main toh bore ho gaya huu…

Phir bhi ek last baar main yeh sabse keh duu…

Rock kaun?

Mujhe Pata Nahi Saala..

Rock Kaun?

Poochta huun main dobaara..

Rock Kaun?

Yeh dhoondne ko chala main…

Rock Kaun?

Anish, Shreya, ya Harjeet Nara.

Sameer wrote the lyrics for the above song. Not me Sameer. But the lyricist Sameer. The same Sameer who has written masterpieces like “Shaka Laka Boom Boom”, “Tandoori Nights” and yeah he is the man behind… “Tera Tera Tera Surooooooooooooooor….”

I am sure they will remain as classics for the next 500 cr. Years.

The auditions began at 7:00 pm. The first contestant to enter was (guess who?) Aamir Khan. Aamir who had successfully survived the epidemic was dressed rather unconventionally.

Ismail Darbar:

Come in, what’s your name?

Aamir:

I am Aamir Khan.

(Saroj Khan has fainted. No, not because of Aamir but because of a strange stinking smell.)

Farhan Akhtar (with his hands over his nose):

Oh my god, How come you are like this?

Aamir:

Actually, I am playing the role of an unemployed music director in my next film. The story goes somewhat like this… The Music Director after being rejected by every director in the country finds solace in judging reality shows. It’s a film on a social issue you know… Inshallah, it‘ll go to the Oscars.

(Farhan has fainted too.)

Ismail:

Wow… That is such a wonderful script that you have.

Aamir:

Thank you… Thank you.

Ismail:

Moreover, I do not understand as to why the heck are you here.

Aamir:

It’s called Method Acting you know.

Ismail:

What?

Aamir:

Urm… See to fit the role of an unemployed music director. I have done the following things:-

1. Not Shaved for 7 months 2 days 4 hours.

2. Not had a bath for 3 months 2 1 days 19 hours.

3. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I lost count of the no. of hours I have gone without brushing. I know it’s highly unprofessional of me but I will surely keep this in mind for the rest of my life.

Ismail:

Oh.. So you must have acquired the stink for the required part.

Aamir:

No.. not even after taking such extreme measures. The director who happens to be a close associate of yours has said that you are the Badshah of Stink. And that I should learn from you.

Ismail:

Hmmm… Come here.

(Aamir does go there. Ismail reveals his arm pit.)

Now this is what you call STINK.

(Aamir is fascinated. He brings a device to calculate the amount of toxins released into the air so that he could replicate the smell.)

Also, everyone but the two have fainted; Even the Cameraman.

And yeah, even I fainted while watching the hidden tapes of this show. So no more footage to be read now. It’ll all be there in the next issue. Until Then,

Keep Ismaaeeling.

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