Funthusia

Farting is traditionally looked down upon. It is a matter of shame for the person who has extracted the gas. I, Sameer Jha, a rational and a really philosophical thinker wishes to change it using this article.

Now, there is a lot of misinformation about farting that’s being circulated amongst the humans. Firstly, farting is good for your health. It kills the germs of your nose which would not have been killed otherwise. A major percentage of the stench that is evacuated from the farter’s rear is because the germs are getting killed. And their death is pivotal, not only pivotal but also imperative for the well being of your nose.

Farting’s cool. Not in the literal sense. In the literal sense, its hot. But morally and ethically, its cool. So, its time for you to not be a fool and NOT look down upon farting.

Issued in Public Interest by Funthusia.com.

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

(Principal’s Office)

It’s a nice and cool room with portraits of people who are atleast 85

years of age.

Principal:

Good Morning Sameer…

(He says this and nods his head which is the same as signalling me to
sit down.)

Principal:

So why do you want to be the head boy?

Sameer (that’s me):

Well for one, I have a head and am not yet a man which implies I am a
boy… It’s pretty simple sir, I think I have the passion, the attitude
to be a roadie… uh… the head boy. It’s my life.

(Asshole doesn’t look amused at my wonderful joke..)

Prinicpal:

Oh okay… I see… What are you hobbies Sameer.

Sameer:

Urm… I like to eat in the class… specially lunches brought by
someone else. And then I love to steal someone else’s notebook.. It’s kinda cool you know.. Steal someone’s notebook… and when you are done with it… keeping it in his/her best friend’s bag.. Genius no… Also…

(I blabber a few more thnings and he seems to be laughing.)

Principal:

Oh I see… You have a good sense of humor. Good Good. Not many people
crack jokes in front of me. It’s good that you are comfortable and confident with your principal.

(WHAAAAAAAAAAT!!! That was the truth. )

Principal:

So sameer… who’s your idol.. the one person you look up to.

Sameer:

Sir.. I am not sure whether you’ll believe me but it’s Vivek Oberoi…
I have become his GREATEST fan ever since I saw his face in that Babool
ad. I mean that was pure genius at work.

Principal:

Oh okay…

(Takes this one seriously bloody nOOb.)

Principal:

Ok Sameer…
Final Question. What are the changes that you as the school
representative will being about in the school?

Sameer:

Firstly, I would make sure that the head boy gets access to one full
plate of tandoori chicken everyday. Now sir this is very important…
To take active part in the activities of the school, the head boy needs
to maintain his health and for that very reason he should be goven
tandoori chicken everyday. I have doctor’s report that tandoori
chicken== good health.

Also sir I’ll not poke my nose into the dirty affairs of others… as I
think the students of this school should be self-dependent,
self-reliant and every other self-realted adjective…

Prinicpal:

Oh I see… with that answer you’ll definitely get a badge.

Sameer:

Oh thank you sir…

(I always knew this from the beginning…)

Principal:

You are surely going to be the dead boy of this school.

Sameer:

Arey mere paise ka kya hua…

Principal:

Chutiye! Dus rupaiye me koi head boy banata hai kya…

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

This was written by me when I was in 9th standard. My best friend after reading this stole my lunch box… He didn’t think that a person who is as foolish as me should eat. Also, the “Kaun hai bai” (rhymes with bombay) Police has paid me 3 lakhs to use this material for torturing the really dangerous terrorists of TODA and FADA.

Sun shining is very important for making hay, because hay making is as scientific a process as the fertilization of gametes. After reading this article you’ll know why…

Hay in terms of a man who is lay, means:- “Yellow Grass…”

Now making that is not easy. It requires continued perseverance and immensely huge amounts of hardwork.

My brother once asked me:

“But can’t you just paint it yellow… rang de basanti..”

“Nopesy”

“Why not? It’ll turn yellow.”

“So…”

“It’ll be yellow grass…”

“But hay is not just yellow… it’s also dry… you ASS!”

So as you may have guessed, Hay is not just yellow… but also dried… so both the factors have to be kept in the mind.

So what do you do first? Dry it or yellow it.

My suggestion would be to yellow it. Because if you dry green grass, it will automatically become yellow… Hai Na.

But the vice-versa is not possible.

So what do you do, to dry it… Don’t worry I’ll give some ossum tips…

Tip No. 1

Go to your gujarati neighbour and ask her to feed you. Trust me… the amount of dhoklas and theplas that you’ll consume is sure to make you produce lots of heat in terms of fart. Now heat is good for drying you know…

Tip No. 2:

Watch a few IPl matches. The cheerleaders are hot enough to produce some serious heat… And heat is falways good for drying i say.

Tip No. 3:

If by any chance, you get sick of all this and get the great indian headache… Don’t even think of using navratna tel to get rid of it… why? coz it’s thanda thanda cool cool ( Cold Cold cool cool) and will neutralise all the hard work done by the cheetleading babes and your gujarati aunty…

Tip No. 4:

To end it all, keep reading my blog… coz’ the insanity of my posts is going to fry your bheja and that in turn will generate loads of heat… and you require heat na..

So hey, make hay while the sun shines… coz there’s not a greater source of heat than sun.

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!