Funthusia

This was written by me when I was in 9th standard. My best friend after reading this stole my lunch box… He didn’t think that a person who is as foolish as me should eat. Also, the “Kaun hai bai” (rhymes with bombay) Police has paid me 3 lakhs to use this material for torturing the really dangerous terrorists of TODA and FADA.

Sun shining is very important for making hay, because hay making is as scientific a process as the fertilization of gametes. After reading this article you’ll know why…

Hay in terms of a man who is lay, means:- “Yellow Grass…”

Now making that is not easy. It requires continued perseverance and immensely huge amounts of hardwork.

My brother once asked me:

“But can’t you just paint it yellow… rang de basanti..”

“Nopesy”

“Why not? It’ll turn yellow.”

“So…”

“It’ll be yellow grass…”

“But hay is not just yellow… it’s also dry… you ASS!”

So as you may have guessed, Hay is not just yellow… but also dried… so both the factors have to be kept in the mind.

So what do you do first? Dry it or yellow it.

My suggestion would be to yellow it. Because if you dry green grass, it will automatically become yellow… Hai Na.

But the vice-versa is not possible.

So what do you do, to dry it… Don’t worry I’ll give some ossum tips…

Tip No. 1

Go to your gujarati neighbour and ask her to feed you. Trust me… the amount of dhoklas and theplas that you’ll consume is sure to make you produce lots of heat in terms of fart. Now heat is good for drying you know…

Tip No. 2:

Watch a few IPl matches. The cheerleaders are hot enough to produce some serious heat… And heat is falways good for drying i say.

Tip No. 3:

If by any chance, you get sick of all this and get the great indian headache… Don’t even think of using navratna tel to get rid of it… why? coz it’s thanda thanda cool cool ( Cold Cold cool cool) and will neutralise all the hard work done by the cheetleading babes and your gujarati aunty…

Tip No. 4:

To end it all, keep reading my blog… coz’ the insanity of my posts is going to fry your bheja and that in turn will generate loads of heat… and you require heat na..

So hey, make hay while the sun shines… coz there’s not a greater source of heat than sun.

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Well… er… eh… read for yourself.

Sattar minute hai tumhare paas
shayad
tumhari zindagi ke sabse antim
sattar minute
aaj tum kisi ko chodo ya nahiin..
yeh sattar minute tumhe
zindagi bhar yaad rahenge

Toh kaise chodna hai
Yeh toh tumhe experience karke hi malloom hoga
aur main bas itna kahunga
ki jaao
aur yeh sattar minute
jee bhar ke chodlo

kyunki iske baad aane wale zindagi mein
jo ki aane nahi wali
kyunki mar jaaoge
lekin yeh sattar minute ka sex tumhe bahut satisfaction dega..
bahut satisfaction..
bahut saara

toh
maine socha ki
Main tumhe yeh na kahoon ki tumhe kaunsa condom
use karna hai
koi bhi karo…
par australian na karna (salaam namaste nahi dekhi kya)…
kya pata jaate jaate tum apni nishaani chhod jaao

toh jaao
jaao aur apne aap se
iss zindagi se
apne khuda se
aur har uss insaan se jisne tumhe
tumhe choda nahi ho
apne sattar minute mein unko chod lo…

How’s it eh?

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Shashi Kapoor:

Bhai! Mujhe iss paper pe aapka sign chahiye… woh kya hai ki ipl ke baad corporates invest kar rahe hai Indian gangster league mein… aur uske liye who tumhe sign karna chahte hai mere bhai…

Amitabh Bachchan:

Aur agar maine sign nahi kiya toh…

Shashi Kapoor:

Bhai Aap sign karte ho ki nahi…

Amitabh Bachchan:

Sign chahiye tumhe… haii… Jaao pehle uss aadmi ka sign lekar aao… jo roz subah mere ghar ke saamne rakhi hui doodh ki thaili phhad kar jaata hai… jaao pehle uska sign lekar aao… jo roz morning mein mere times of india (mumbai mirror free) ko uthakar Punjab Kesari rakh deta hai… Jaao pehle us aadmi ka sign lekar aao jisne yeh bhaddi joke likhi hai… mere bhai… phir tum jis paper se sign karne ke liye kahoge main sign kar doonga…

Shashi Kapoor:

Bhai… Yeh sab kaam toh maine hi kiya hai… Yeh rahi meri sign… Ab aapko sign karna hi padega…

Amitabh Bachchan:

Mujhe kyun… Abhishek ko bolo… Acting ke saath meri sign ki bhi acchhi copy karta hai…

Shashi Kapoor:

Bhai… aapko pata nahi abhishek ash ke saath ash kar raha hai… aur vivek aur salman ka jiya jalke ash ho gaya hai…

Amitabh Bachchan:

Haaiinn… Aur maine ab bhi sign nahi kiya toh…

Shashi Kapoor:

Toh bhai mujhe majbooran aapko aapki hi film jhoom barabar jhoom dikhaani padegi…

Amitabh Bachchan:

Oh My God!! Batao kahaan sign karna hai…

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