Funthusia

unkownid_cooldude:

Heya!

Sameer:

Hey

unkownid_cooldude:

Dude u own funthusia..?

Sameer:

Yeah! I kinda do..

unknownid_cooldude:

Cool blog man… you are realllyyy talented…

Sameer:

Danke Danke…

unknownid_cooldude:

What?

Sameer:

Well Danke means thanks in german…

unknownid_cooldude:

Oh… Lol… I thought something else…

Sameer:

Dude… if you like my blog… why don’t you subscribe to its feed..

unknownid_cooldude:

Hmm..No…

Sameer:

Why Why?? :-O

unknownid_cooldude:

See, I don’t subscribe to feeds… I come and check your blog everyday… So why do I need to subscribe to its feed…

Sameer:

Thanks dude… but I need readers…

unknownid_cooldude:

What!! I am not a reader… Yeh toh meri beizzati ho gayi…

Sameer:

Uff..

unknownid_cooldude:

I am fed up of this feed thing…

Sameer:

See… I know you’re a reader but I can’t show it off… ya know. I need readers to somewhat establish my credibility…

unknownid_cooldude:

But what is the GODDAMN use… of subscribing to a feed…

Sameer:

Psst..you get updated if there’s any new content on my blog…

unknownid_cooldude:

Okay… so why do you need to update me when I check your blog everyday…

Sameer:

To get Feed Readers…

unknownid_cooldude:

I dunno what it really means…

Sameer:

See… There are people who subscribe to your feed… using RSS… or through email… These are called Feed Readers…

unknownid_cooldude:

I know email… but what’s RSS…

Sameer:

That’s something which helps readers read your feed…

unknownid_cooldude:

Dude… I think you should stick to blogging… don’t do this…

Sameer:

Do what?

unknownid_cooldude:

This feed thing…

Sameer:

But it’s a part of blogging…

unknownid_cooldude:

What part…

Sameer:

Feed part…

unknownid_cooldude:

Lol… It’s not RSS…

Sameer:

It is RSS

unknownid_cooldude:

I meant… It’s not Really Simple Suckah…

This is a work of fiction… Totahlly..

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Teacher:

Sameer! You need to cut your hair.

Sameer:

But it’s small Ma’am.

Teacher:

What Small? it should be Crew Cut…If by tomorrow you don’t cut your hair then I’ll cut it myself.

Sameer:

Sure Ma’am…You can cut it yourself. I never object to people cutting their hair.

Teacher:

Not my hair…I’ll cut your hair myself.

Sameer:

Why would you take such pains Ma’am.

Teacher:

Because your hair is big.

Sameer:

Ma’am I know many people get this urge…to quit their job and take up a new job…But ma’am I seriously think that you should stick to teaching. Afterall, being a barber doesn’t pay a lot.

Teacher (gets really angry):

How dare you call me a barber…  I am taking this stuff to the principal. He will set you right.

Sameer:

Ma’am India is a democracy right.

Teacher:

yes…But it is in the school rules that you need to cut your hair reguarly.

Sameer:

Not if it hurts your Religious sentiments…

Teacher:

But that’s only for Sikhs…I think. And you’re a hindu.

Sameer:

Well In India you can convert.

Teacher:

There must be some rites and rituals required to convert to Sikhism.

Sameer:

Well I am not converting to Sikhism…I am converting to another religion called Jhaatusim and there you have no need for rituals….Muhahahahaha…

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

“Why am I here?” I said, the movement of my lips had sent a shock of pain to my head…

“Hmm…I think I should be the one asking questions. How much do you earn per year?”

“16 lakhs p.a. with taxes”

“You know that in a country like India, you can feed around 100 families for a month with that money.”

“So…”

“How many do you feed.”

“Ur…eh…One” I said feeling a bit guilty.

“Do you listen him brothers. He feeds just one family when he can feed many. Don’t you agree that he has to pay for what he has done…He has to…Mr. Devang, you will pay a check of Rs.Fifty One Lax in favour of Gaffer Dresses.”

“What…51 Lakhs??? I can’t afford that much…”

“Take loans…Beg, Borrow, Steal, Just pay up, else you die.”

The next thing I knew was signing a cheque of 51 lakhs.

***

The next time I reached the undisclosed part of Gaffer Dresses, my wounds were somewhat healed. At least the bedsheets on which I slept were not getting stained with blood anymore. The leader of the pack was called Masud Gaffer.

“So you brought the cheque.” He said

“Uh…Yes”

“Hmmm…Good.”

“What will you do to me now?”

“Kill you ofcourse.”

“But why?”

“Because you’ve exploited us enough…Couldn’t you pay a fraction of your earning to feed a family.”

“But we pay to the charity and that in turn feeds many .”

“I ain’t taking any of that…Charity guys are bloody motherfuckers. They earn money in our name. I am going to kill them someday too.”

Silence surrounded us for a while.

“ Where does this money go…The money I paid just now.”

“What this money…It goes to the homeless…starved families.”

“None of it goes to you?”

“No…I don’t do this for money.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“I do it for respect…rich bastards like you will never get it’s meaning.”

“You’ll get respect by killing me right.”

“Yes!”

“What if I run away from this country and you tell everyone that you’ve killed me. You can still have the respect.”

“What if you don’t run?”

“You’ve scared me enough to make me run away. I won’t be getting any sleep if I don’t run.”

“Okay…But why should I leave you…I want to kill you as much as any one of us.”

“What if I pay you five lakhs… in cash. Now…”

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Seema:

“Love is for Novels, Ishaan…and films…actually all kinds of stories.”

Ishaan:

“Huh..Stuff like “Love is for novels and films…” is mainly found in novels and films.”

Seema:

“What…I didn’t get you.”

Ishaan:

“It’s funny actually, because more often than not…when someone refers to the films…the referrer is in a film.”

Seema:

“It’s the same with novels and any kinds of stories…Stories referring to other kinds of stories.”

Ishaan:

“Yeah…And if you get to know about someone talking about stories it’s mainly in a story and we are talkin’ about stories so it’s most probable that we too are a part of some imaginary story.”

Seema

“So this is a story.”

Ishaan:

“Yeah…It’s a story we are in…”

Seema:

“But dude…Story has a conflict…A resolution.”

Ishaan:

“You just said the conflict…that the story doesn’t have a conflict. I am opposed to that. And that creates a conflict between the two of us.”

Seema:

“Nice observation. Now how do you resolve that conflict?”

Ishaan:

“Um…The fact that you agree that the conflict exists and the fact that the story writer is getting a bit lazy for making you to oppose more is a testimony to the fact that the conflict has been resolved.”

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Before you read this I am sure you would like to check out Simply Messaging Someone 1.0 .
The only relation is that both are a series of messages and the story is told through these messages.

Varun:

Hey, where r u?
Why dint u reply to d msg I sent last nite…

Deepali:

Listen…Today only I joined Satish Tutorials so slept early y’day…am in a boring lecture now..

Varun:

Lol…btw which subj lecture is goin’ on now?

Deepali

It’s a/c…:-(…Bank reconciliation statement…I can’t understand anythin’…

Varun:

Hmm…Stop paying attention then. It’s no use. Who else is der wid you?

Deepali:

Tanay, Sachet, Kiran & Isha…neways where are you now?

Varun:

Am at my house…alone…so was watching a movie.

Deepali:

Vyom dahling, listen…can you meet me at Ohri’s @ 7 in d eve.

Varun:

K Sweetie…I’ll b there 4 sure…

Deepali:

This mobile has been taken from the owner by Satish Tutorials for use during Lectures.

Varun:

Stop Kidding Deepali…A tutorial wouldn’t have informed me abt the confiscation…

Deepali:

LMAO…LOL…Am Tanay dude and Deepali had given me this mobile to call up my mom. I forgot to return it to her and she forgot to ask…

Varun:

Really..Nice trick dude…You never let yourself know…

Deepali:

MUHAHAHA…Varun, you can catch my bluff once but you can’t catch it twice..:-))

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

This is actually an Sms Mini Series. It’s a series of 12 messages between two individuals and the conversation is what makes up a story. The SMS lingo is intentional.

Shiraz:

Hi Akash,
Howz u? Me in Mumbai now…looking forward to mee you.
Plz reply. –Shiraz

Shreya:

Lol…Akash…Who Akash??? I m shreya and who gave you dis no.

Shiraz:

Oops…Sorry. Akash was my friend back in delhi…He is now in studyin’ in Mumbai.
I am here so I messaged him.

Shreya:

Bt d msg was rcvd by me. Newayz, I had a bad day and you cheered me up. Thanks.

Shiraz:

Oh Cool, It’s good that you dint feel bad. So I guess we’ve become msg frnds. lolz.

Shreya:

Yep sure…Shiraz…temmi somethin abt u…

Shiraz:

Well…I am a SRK fan and a Jim Carrey clone. I like telling stories and most of them are at my blog funthusia.com

Shreya:

Kkkkkkkooooooool. I think it’s good. I too write but not very often.

Shiraz:

Hmmm…Newayz I hv just arrived in Mum. And would you mind if we meetup somewhere.

Hmm…:

Fuck you, Shiraz. I m Akash. Fuhget at Shreya cuz she ain’t exist…Newayz, c u tom. In the CCD at City Centre, Vashi….i’ll b der…

Shiraz:

WTF!! I thot i had a huge crush on this girl. Neways, akash since when have you started liking Coffee….

Shreya:

Hmmm…Don’t tell me Aakash doesn’t like Coffee.

Update:

Also check out..Simply Messaging Someone 2.0

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

2:00 pm

It was the time when I was alone in my bedroom, with no clothes, no pubic hair and a letter clutched in my hand.

The letter was from District Sports Authority, which read that they needed my blood samples. The news was as shocking for me as the news of all the porn getting deleted from my computer.

Anyways, I guess they have started checking now and I would be in great trouble if they successfully check mine.

I looked around myself for clues but the only clue I could get was that I was in deep shit and I needed to make some arrangements to get out of the shit. I had absolutely no clue about the arrangements though.

Then something struck me…No…not the new Mirinda Orangy Blast… but an idea.

I picked up the receiver and punched in a few digits.

“You…
Do You remember me…
Like I remember you…”

This guy had a nice caller tune…Someone picked up the receiver on the other side.

“Hello Rajeev.”

I had called up Neil. He was a friend of mine whose father was probably the doctor who was going to check my blood for the drugs.

“Neil, yaar, I need your help.”

“What kind of help?”

“Umm…does your father still works as the consultant doctor of the sports authority?”

“Yeah. What with that?”

“Okay cool. Now listen to what I am saying very carefully.”

I explained the whole thing to him. I explained how he was going to save me from the trouble I would face if the authority gets me. I even explained his role in saving me.

“It’s not that easy, Rajeev. I have to steal keys, get into their lab, and all that. It’s fucking risky.”

“Dude! The security is all fucked up! You can easily bribe them. I’ll pay the amount of bribes given.”

“Okay fine.”

“I guess you should come to my place now to discuss the plan in some more detail.”

“In an hour, Eisenhower.”

“No time for jokes, Neil.”

“Bye. See ya.”

“Bye”

3:15 pm

The plan was a bit like something that you see in the movies though the risks involved over here were not of that magnitude and it was a lot safer to execute. The principle used over here was simple:- Exchange the samples. Even a third grade kid can think of that now. Mostly, because of the wonderful movies that are being made these days.

“What would I get in return for all this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why do I do this.”

“Neil, you are supposed to be my friend. Help me out in times of need.”

“Well, then dude I need something.”

“What?”

“I need to fuck you.”

I was more shocked than angry. It answered quite a few questions. He didn’t mingle with girls not because he cared about his career but because he was a homosexual.

“I am not going to do this. I don’t care if it ends my fucking career.”

I felt a bit better now.

“Cool man! You don’t have to worry about your career…”

“Why?”

“Well for one, this is just a part of some stupid author’s imagination.”

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

When times go bad, even babas go bad. Well now, times had gone bad and the most popular of this bad baba group was with a name of “Jai Baba Shaitan” .

At one such gathering of him and his followers.

J.B.S: Good evening folks….You rich assholes have paid a fucking amount of sum for enrolling to my course, (pauses for effect)
“ The Art of Killing…”
Some of you have paid in fake notes but that’s okay…”

*2-3 people drool at Baba…

J.B.S: We all are chutiyas and madarchods. We also are the best possible scum of the earth. Assholes like us are very rare to find. But at the end we are proud of what we are and that is very important..
“Never Feel Guilty of The CRIMES you do!!”

*One guy stands up and shows his middle finger*

J.B.S:- Thank you my boy!! Lying, back-stabbing and abusing is very important in life. It purifies your soul and; makes you a successful human being. Crimes should be committed, and innocents should be convicted. Afterall,the innocent’s didn’t pay for my course.

*One guy gets up and says, “We are here to fucking learn about killing.”*

J.B.S:- I was just coming to that my boy…SOUL is the ultimate thing in your body…So you need to make it happy but how are you going to do that…You’re going to do that by adding your soul to someone else’s, i.e. to kill…a man and add his soul to yours..Too Doo!! It’s all about the soul…I have killed a lot of people and my soul is of first grade. Hell, I would have got an ISI certificate for it… Only if they certified it.

*A man gets up from the crowd, takes out an Avtomat Kalashnikov 47 (AK 47) and shoots the Baba…(His name is Prachanda)

Prachanda (to baba) : All I wanted was a soul…and you had huge depository of them…

*He pauses for effect*

Prachanda (to the gathering): We All paid money to learn to KILL right…

If you liked the content of this post, you may want to tell others by using these buttons:

Powered by Bookmarkify™

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!