Funthusia

After the really unsuccessful Part 1 & 2, here’s presenting the Part 3 of the series that prides itself on being the poorest reality show on Planet. Financially bhi aur Qualitatively bhi.

In the previous edition, you were shown the insanely boring auditions of Aamir Khan. Sameer, in all his capacity will try to make sure that this segment of auditions is even more boring.

Well,to begin with I appointed a reporter to help me relax and watch some naughty America videos. So today’s episode will be taken care of by my able reporter Girihiridhari.

Protests erupt in the poorest reality show on TV.

2nd November, 2008
Sarsole Gaon, Mumbai

Laaj Thokray and the people of ‘Mala Publicity Dena’ group started protesting against the channel for selecting an unfair jury.
To put it in the words of Laaj Thokray,

“This tyranny shall not be tolerated. What is this? You are running the show in our city and you don’t have a Marathi Judge. Some Marathi musicians are also unemployed but who are you taking ISMAIL DARBAR? We will not let this happen. We will damage your property.”

The members of the group did try to destroy some property but failed as they couldn’t find any. You see being the poorest show on TV does have some benefits.

Girihiridhari Kumar,
Funthusia News Network
girihiridhari@funthusia.com

After Aamir the next person to enter the show was Tusshar Kapoor.

(Tusshar Kapoor enters.)

Saroj Khan (exclaims):

Arey baap re, ye kaunsa languor aa gaya.

(Langoor Angoor khaake bolta hai.)

Tusshar Kapoor:

Log mujhe Tusshar Kapoor kehte hai!

Farhan Akhtar:

Arey haan… Tu wohi hai na jiski behenke serial me saas log bhi ekdum mast jaam sexy transparent saree pehenti hai…

Tusshar Kapoor:

Haan re… Wohi hai main.

Farhan Akhtar:

Good, Good, very good. Tere ko maloom hai kya apna woh picture aaya tha na … Rock On!! Usme maine director ko bola, apne ko heroine waste ek mast K-serial ki saas chahiye. Par saala Director ne mujhe kya diya… Bachi Desai… mera matlab… Prachi Desai…

Tusshar Kapoor:

Aisa Kya!

Ismail Darbar:

Barobar bola Farhan Bhai. Agar meri saas aisi hoti toh mere liye ek nayi gaali invent karni padti thi..

Farhan Akhtar:

Lemme Guess… Saasu C**d.

(Ismail and Farhan apne iss sense of humor par bahut haste hai.)

Saroj Khan:

Sheh… Mere daamaad aise kyun nahi hain.

(Tusshar Kapoor ne socha ki ye lok bahut paka rahe hain… Aur usne interrupt kiya)

Tusshar Kapoor:

Bhai saab, aap mera audition lenge.

Ismail Darbar:

Haan re lega lega.

Tusshar Kapoor:

To Phir lena.

Ismail Darbar:

Arey leta hai na… Tu Tension kai ko leta hai. Chal munna tuu mereko yeh bata ki tere liye rock kya hota hai…

Tusshar Kapoor:

Rock for me means a lot. Whenever I do a show, people throw different kinds of rocks for me. You wouldn’t believe it, but I know more about rocks than any living geologist… be it igneous, metamorphic…

(Ismail Darbar Interrupts. And then takes out something from his purse and throws it towards him.)

Ismail Darbar:

Take this rock. Study it!!

Tusshar kapoor:

Thank you… Thank you very much sir.

(Forensic reports suggest that the rock was actually hardened faecal matter of a member of the Darbar Dynasty. Experts also believe that 200 years down the line, it’s gonna sell for a lot of money.)

The next person to come was Bulla Loe Armstrong. His name had a meaning, he claimed:-

“Aggar aap apne bulla ko lete rahoge… toh aapka Arm Strong ho jayega.”

And Bulla ka naam sunte hi one sardarji appeared out of nowhere and started singing…

“Bullllaa Ki Jaana Main Kaaaaauuuun.”

Iske baad, na toh usne aage ka gaana gaaya, naa hi usne gaana band kiya. Show ke sab log bore ho gaye, bilkul waise jaise abhi aap bore ho rahe hain.

In this critical situation, Saroj Khan ne apna kamaal dikhaaya.

Aankhon ki ek matak and cleavage ki ek jhatak aur bas— Rabbi Shergill ye shaher chhod ke bhaag gaya.

Bulla Loe Armstrong, however seemed interested. Usko apni Arm jo strong karni thi. He and Saroj Khan did something which we cannot cover here because this is a family blog(Lol).

And thus with extreme relief and intense sukoon, the show came to an end.

I know ki isse padhne ke baad tumhara dimaag damage ho gaya hoga… par koi baat nahi, jo cheez pehle se hi damaged hai use thoda aur damage karne me kya problem hai. After all, Navratan Tel ke manufacturers mujhe isi baat ka toh paisa dete hain.

(To be Continued.. )

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Pee TV, a mainstream entertainment channel, has launched a new reality show by the name of “Rock Kaun.” According to Suhaas Bandra, this particular show is a hunt to unearth the Hidden Rocks of our country.

When we asked its judge Farhan Akhtar to say a few words about this show and why has he been picked up by the channel. He replied;

Look Mr. Reporter, the thing is that every night on the dinner table, my father boasts about the no. of reality shows he has done. My mom too after getting incredibly jealous has started judging shows. She too has started boasting about how she spanks a contestant on her show and make them look like 10 year old kids. Judging this show is my way of keeping with the family tradition.

An extremely reliable source tells us, that Farhan literally begged the honchos in Pee TV, to sign him on as a judge. When they didn’t oblige, he is supposed to have bribed them with his father’s earnings.

Rock Kaun also has Ismail Darbar (the unemployed music director) as a judge. On being asked about the show he said,

Since time immemorial, reality shows have been my bread and butter. This show will make sure that I have my Jam too.

(Dairy Prices have ricocheted to the roofs with the recent Baba Ramdev disclosure that Milk has advanced properties which will make all doctors who have scratched their asses for 10 years studying, unemployed. As a result, the organizers of Rock Kaun have decided to give bread-jam instead of bread butter as Ismail’s daily allowance.)

Just when we were about to leave, Ismail Darbar, added;

Maalik deta hai, Main leta huu.
Mallika ko main deta huu, saali woh leti hi nahi

The third judge is Saroj Khan, who was chosen after much contemplation. An Insider (khabri) tells us that she has defeated greats like Alisha Chinai and Malaika Arora Khan in the race for grabbing the ‘the third judge ki kursi’. In the words of that insider:

“The fight was intense, the youngsters at Pee TV rooted for Malaika, while the old-aged people rooted for Alisha. They had to call in a foreign person for the final verdict. That person, was Simon Cowell. He without even looking at the judges, declared that the lady who shows the maximum cleavage will be made the judge. That’s how Saroj Khan was picked.”

We tried to contact her, but she was unavailable for comment.

*We urge you to contact your cable operator to connect Pee TV from your TV Sets. If that fails, don’t worry, I, Sameer Jha, an extremely rational and fair human being would make it available to you through my blog.

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