Funthusia

unkownid_cooldude:

Heya!

Sameer:

Hey

unkownid_cooldude:

Dude u own funthusia..?

Sameer:

Yeah! I kinda do..

unknownid_cooldude:

Cool blog man… you are realllyyy talented…

Sameer:

Danke Danke…

unknownid_cooldude:

What?

Sameer:

Well Danke means thanks in german…

unknownid_cooldude:

Oh… Lol… I thought something else…

Sameer:

Dude… if you like my blog… why don’t you subscribe to its feed..

unknownid_cooldude:

Hmm..No…

Sameer:

Why Why?? :-O

unknownid_cooldude:

See, I don’t subscribe to feeds… I come and check your blog everyday… So why do I need to subscribe to its feed…

Sameer:

Thanks dude… but I need readers…

unknownid_cooldude:

What!! I am not a reader… Yeh toh meri beizzati ho gayi…

Sameer:

Uff..

unknownid_cooldude:

I am fed up of this feed thing…

Sameer:

See… I know you’re a reader but I can’t show it off… ya know. I need readers to somewhat establish my credibility…

unknownid_cooldude:

But what is the GODDAMN use… of subscribing to a feed…

Sameer:

Psst..you get updated if there’s any new content on my blog…

unknownid_cooldude:

Okay… so why do you need to update me when I check your blog everyday…

Sameer:

To get Feed Readers…

unknownid_cooldude:

I dunno what it really means…

Sameer:

See… There are people who subscribe to your feed… using RSS… or through email… These are called Feed Readers…

unknownid_cooldude:

I know email… but what’s RSS…

Sameer:

That’s something which helps readers read your feed…

unknownid_cooldude:

Dude… I think you should stick to blogging… don’t do this…

Sameer:

Do what?

unknownid_cooldude:

This feed thing…

Sameer:

But it’s a part of blogging…

unknownid_cooldude:

What part…

Sameer:

Feed part…

unknownid_cooldude:

Lol… It’s not RSS…

Sameer:

It is RSS

unknownid_cooldude:

I meant… It’s not Really Simple Suckah…

This is a work of fiction… Totahlly..

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Teacher:

Sameer! You need to cut your hair.

Sameer:

But it’s small Ma’am.

Teacher:

What Small? it should be Crew Cut…If by tomorrow you don’t cut your hair then I’ll cut it myself.

Sameer:

Sure Ma’am…You can cut it yourself. I never object to people cutting their hair.

Teacher:

Not my hair…I’ll cut your hair myself.

Sameer:

Why would you take such pains Ma’am.

Teacher:

Because your hair is big.

Sameer:

Ma’am I know many people get this urge…to quit their job and take up a new job…But ma’am I seriously think that you should stick to teaching. Afterall, being a barber doesn’t pay a lot.

Teacher (gets really angry):

How dare you call me a barber…  I am taking this stuff to the principal. He will set you right.

Sameer:

Ma’am India is a democracy right.

Teacher:

yes…But it is in the school rules that you need to cut your hair reguarly.

Sameer:

Not if it hurts your Religious sentiments…

Teacher:

But that’s only for Sikhs…I think. And you’re a hindu.

Sameer:

Well In India you can convert.

Teacher:

There must be some rites and rituals required to convert to Sikhism.

Sameer:

Well I am not converting to Sikhism…I am converting to another religion called Jhaatusim and there you have no need for rituals….Muhahahahaha…

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“Why am I here?” I said, the movement of my lips had sent a shock of pain to my head…

“Hmm…I think I should be the one asking questions. How much do you earn per year?”

“16 lakhs p.a. with taxes”

“You know that in a country like India, you can feed around 100 families for a month with that money.”

“So…”

“How many do you feed.”

“Ur…eh…One” I said feeling a bit guilty.

“Do you listen him brothers. He feeds just one family when he can feed many. Don’t you agree that he has to pay for what he has done…He has to…Mr. Devang, you will pay a check of Rs.Fifty One Lax in favour of Gaffer Dresses.”

“What…51 Lakhs??? I can’t afford that much…”

“Take loans…Beg, Borrow, Steal, Just pay up, else you die.”

The next thing I knew was signing a cheque of 51 lakhs.

***

The next time I reached the undisclosed part of Gaffer Dresses, my wounds were somewhat healed. At least the bedsheets on which I slept were not getting stained with blood anymore. The leader of the pack was called Masud Gaffer.

“So you brought the cheque.” He said

“Uh…Yes”

“Hmmm…Good.”

“What will you do to me now?”

“Kill you ofcourse.”

“But why?”

“Because you’ve exploited us enough…Couldn’t you pay a fraction of your earning to feed a family.”

“But we pay to the charity and that in turn feeds many .”

“I ain’t taking any of that…Charity guys are bloody motherfuckers. They earn money in our name. I am going to kill them someday too.”

Silence surrounded us for a while.

“ Where does this money go…The money I paid just now.”

“What this money…It goes to the homeless…starved families.”

“None of it goes to you?”

“No…I don’t do this for money.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“I do it for respect…rich bastards like you will never get it’s meaning.”

“You’ll get respect by killing me right.”

“Yes!”

“What if I run away from this country and you tell everyone that you’ve killed me. You can still have the respect.”

“What if you don’t run?”

“You’ve scared me enough to make me run away. I won’t be getting any sleep if I don’t run.”

“Okay…But why should I leave you…I want to kill you as much as any one of us.”

“What if I pay you five lakhs… in cash. Now…”

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Before you read this I am sure you would like to check out Simply Messaging Someone 1.0 .
The only relation is that both are a series of messages and the story is told through these messages.

Varun:

Hey, where r u?
Why dint u reply to d msg I sent last nite…

Deepali:

Listen…Today only I joined Satish Tutorials so slept early y’day…am in a boring lecture now..

Varun:

Lol…btw which subj lecture is goin’ on now?

Deepali

It’s a/c…:-(…Bank reconciliation statement…I can’t understand anythin’…

Varun:

Hmm…Stop paying attention then. It’s no use. Who else is der wid you?

Deepali:

Tanay, Sachet, Kiran & Isha…neways where are you now?

Varun:

Am at my house…alone…so was watching a movie.

Deepali:

Vyom dahling, listen…can you meet me at Ohri’s @ 7 in d eve.

Varun:

K Sweetie…I’ll b there 4 sure…

Deepali:

This mobile has been taken from the owner by Satish Tutorials for use during Lectures.

Varun:

Stop Kidding Deepali…A tutorial wouldn’t have informed me abt the confiscation…

Deepali:

LMAO…LOL…Am Tanay dude and Deepali had given me this mobile to call up my mom. I forgot to return it to her and she forgot to ask…

Varun:

Really..Nice trick dude…You never let yourself know…

Deepali:

MUHAHAHA…Varun, you can catch my bluff once but you can’t catch it twice..:-))

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Now this is something I’ve heard quite a few times and I’m sure yould have hard of it too… This post will tell you what to do in such situations.

Teacher: Sameer, you bunked tutions today. Why?

Sameer: Ma’am, Aman told me that we don’t have to go to tution today.

Teacher: Aman will tell you to jump in the well, will you jump?

Sameer: Sorry Ma’am.

After half an hour or so..

Teacher: Sameer, did you do the Homework…

Sameer: No Ma’am…why do I do it?

Teacher: Because I said.

Sameer: You will tell me to jump in the well and I will jump.

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