Funthusia

Part 2 of the story. Part 1 is here.

———

The class bursts into laughter. Sameer stands up… visibly embarassed.

Teacher:

So, it was you. Can you explain as to what really happened? What made the noise?

Sameer:

Ma’am actually I was er.. eating and the lunch kinda fell down.

Teacher:

Eating!! What guts. You’ve completed your work or what?

Sameer:

Ur… Yes Ma’am.

Teacher:

Bring your notebook.

Sameer:

Uh… Ma’am it’s a bit incomplete.

Teacher:

You BRING YOUR NOTEBOOK NOW!!!

(Sameer brings his notebook.)

Sameer:

Ma’am it’s my rough notebook…

Teacher:

I see… There’s Hindi in it… then some English. History and Maths, no trace of geography… What have you been doing in my period? And this… the subject field of your label.. you’ve written what?

Sameer:

God only knows.

(Class bursts into laughter.)

Teacher:

You eat in my class, not make my notebook, show disrespect towards me.. and just refuse to say sorry. I am gonna take you to the principal now…

Sameer:

Sorry Ma’am…

Teacher:

You… Come with me.

(In the principal’s office.)

Principal:

What have you done?

Teacher:

Sir.. he was eating…

Principal (interrupts):

I asked him.

(The Teacher is visibly embarassed.)

Sameer:

Sir, I eh… was eating in the class and my notebook’s not complete.

Teacher:

Don’t say it’s not complete… you’ve not made it (goddamit)…

Principal:

Ah… Well, Did you have your breakfast?

Sameer:

No Sir.

Principal:

Yeah I figured that out… Hunger makes you do gutsy things… And yes, if a child is hungry he/she may not be able to study. So I think it’s fair for you to eat. But But, you should’ve asked your Subject Teacher also… And yes, have your breakfast from now on…

Sameer:

I assure you that it’ll never happen again..

Principal:

And yes, about the notebook… it should be on my desk the first thing tomorrow morning.

Sameer:

Yes Sir.

(The Subject teacher is visibly embarrassed.)

The End.

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Sameer had put up an interesting post about avoiding homework and am here to help you guys further as i was too tempted to contribute something…..

Small Kids : A Blessing in Disguise

So this idea struck me when this happened with me by sheer luck. I have a younger brother who’s 9 years younger than me (unofficially in few years he could be my dad given the sheer things he is learning which i never thought of at his age). Once he vomited on my book and it was all ruined…. and i had to buy another book. So it was a really good and valid reason

Can’t make the kid vomit?? Give him some Paint or colors and show him to draw and VOILA!!!! U have a master piece and then you can say  “Err… actually MA’M my brother/sister/nephew/niece tore it/colored over it/ vomited over it/ did potty over it….. ” you can make your imagination as wild as possible

So invite the naughtiest kid ( not related to the word $*X )  over for dinner and get going…..

To be safe….  make sure you have support from your parents…. like give the kid the notebook and go out of the house telling your mom/dad you have some work and he’s playing. Come back and make faces like WHAT THE F**** SCREAM, CRY… Get disappointed etc… etc… and make your parents support you…

So you could ever tell your teacher to ask you parents they won’t lie:P

So avoid the homework and get going…..

PS: Sameer hope you liked the post and won’t SC**W me for not telling you about it

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Standard Answers ab ho gaye poorane. Naye ka zamaana hai bhai…

So here’s presenting a series of posts which will help you avoid that thing called Homework…

Part 1:

The first strategy works like a charm, especially in “MUST SUBMIT NOTEBOOK” cases.

The scenario should be something like:

It’s almost the end of the term and the teachers been asking for everybody’s notebooks. You can’t escape because the teacher is very careful and maintains a list of people not submitting their notebooks.

You also however, cannot submit the notebook… because you’ve not goddamn made it.

So, What to Do:

Worry Not… You’ve just landed at the right place. Now what you’ve got to do is to pretend that you’ve lost your notebook…

“Oh Come On… D’you think she’ll buy that.” you say.

Well, She won’t believe it, if you’re the only guy to lose the notebook… but if 5-10 guys lose theirs, all at once…

She has no option but to believe you.

“How the FCUK are 5-10 guys gonna lose their notebook at once.”

It’s quite easy you know… Here’s what you gotta make sure.

1) I presume you don’t bring more than one notebook to school because you’ve not made anything else. So your bags should be as light as a feather.

2)Be careful while opening the bags which belong to the fairer sex… you might just find something that shifts your attention from the task on hand. And gives you a kick to fantasise unfamiliar territories…

3) Make it quick or people will be conspicous of your absence.

Back to the plan…

This plan (obviously) has to be executed when there’s no one in the class… i.e. in a games period or a library period.

What you’ve gotta do is… Steal some notebooks… students of all genres that is average, good and people like you…

Zero the names of students before hand so that you don’t face any dilemma on the D-DAY.

Open their bags… and take out the specific notebook.

And keep ‘em in your bag… Make sure that the stolen notebook would not be used again that day. Your bag will be a bit on the heavier side but that’s the price you gotta pay.

After you’re done “Take a Deep Breath…”

And go back to the place where you’re supposed to be and talk to as many kids as possible.

Next Day:

Start looking worried and make it clear to “the concerned Ma’am” …

“Uh…Ma’am I can’t find my … uh… notebook. I had it in my bag yesterday… But Now, It’s not there..”

Others will start talking too…

“Yes ma’am… My notebook is also lost.”

“Mine Also… Mine Also…”

So… Take a deep breath and suggest.

“Ma’am I think someone has stolen it… We should check the bags…”

And Voila!! The pandemonium has been created… Thou shalt have single-handedly wasted a period.

Moreover, you have readymade notes for your own perusal at the time of exams…

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